Friday, February 14, 2014

I am fun. I am successful. I am kind. Why can’t I find the right partner?

Question for Penny: People say I’m a good catch and I would make someone very lucky one day. I cannot disagree that I am a fun, successful, well-rounded individual who is also kind. I’ve had some great relationships, yet I’ve had no success finding the “right" partner. I am ready and open to be in a relationship and truly feel I’m doing all the right things. What am I missing here??

Answer: It’s not difficult to find a partner if being deeply connected and in love is not that important to you, or if being highly compatible with your partner isn’t a huge criteria. But if this is all too important, then you’re not just looking for a partner, you’re looking for the love of your life.

Timing plays a huge part in this. But first, you must understand that timing does not only mean being in the right place at the right time, it also means “you” have to be “ready” — YOU have to be in the "right place” in mind, heart and spirit.

To be ready is not only about being available and open, or telling yourself and others that you’re ready and looking. That’s not enough. If you want to attract the best partner for you, you have to first “be" the type of person you want to meet

This means you would first spend time working on your Self, learn to do the things that make a relationship work; spend time on self-reflection; get clear on what you want; learn as much as you can to improve your Self.

Be open when you’re meeting new people. Don’t be too quick to judge. And when you finally meet that special someone, apply everything you’ve learned, nurture your partner, listen openly, communicate honestly, work things out kindly, speak lovingly, share affectionately.

So if you say you’re “ready”, this means you’ve taken the time to work on your Self — mentally, emotionally, physically, even spiritually — so you’ll not only recognize the love of your life when he or she comes along, but you’ll be “ready” to treat them the way you want to be treated (not only when it’s convenient for you, but also during the most challenging times). 

The most important lesson I've learned in love is that true love between two people can only genuinely exist when we let go of ego — when we choose to be vulnerable with one another. 

When the time is right, meaning, when you’ve done your “homework” on your Self, the best partner for you will come your way. And that partner might just be "The One" you were “growing” for all along.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! xo

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