I listen
to some of my clients tell me how hard they try to "do things" or
"make time" for a "certain someone," but that someone isn't
putting in a similar effort. Okay, I get it, you're disappointed, but you're
hopeful; you think that person will somehow change over because you're forcing
them to do so? If this is the case, you may be missing one of life's important
lessons: Nothing true can ever exist (or last) if it is done by force or by placing your agenda-filled ego as the main driver.
I know all
relationship/friendship circumstances can be very different, and so the best solution
for each can vary. BUT here is the essence that would be wise to bare
in mind — and
that is... if someone really wants to be a part of your life, they will really
make an effort to be in it. There's no need for you to try so hard.
At some
point, we all make this "mistake" of trying too hard to change
someone over. The truth is... it's okay to make this mistake once or twice so
you can learn from it. After all, how can you learn from a place of comfort and
convenience? HOWEVER, what's not okay is if after a few rounds of this kind of
drama you still don't learn from it; you continue this habit of choice over and
over again only to complain or feel angry about it.
You do not have
to settle for being somebody's part-time, or somebody's some-of-the-time, or
even somebody's when-they-have-time. You deserve somebody who can be there for
you all the time; whether in person, in mind or at heart.
You do not
have to settle for anything that compromises your inner balance unless you
choose to. Communicating
truthfully and kindly to yourself and the other person is always KEY. Again,
the choice is always yours to make. Ask yourself "What kind of
choices do I truly want to experience in this lifetime?"
Yes, I know
it's a tough choice to make especially if you're emotionally invested, but just
keep in mind that when you stop chasing the wrong things, you will give the right things a chance to catch you.
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